Back and forth and back again.

My brain is having a serious identity crisis. What I mean by that, is in 2 months (and that will mean I will have been in Japan for SIX MONTHS) I will need to decide whether or not to renew my contract for an extra 6 months or not (that is if they ask me to renew haha). I know 2 months away seems like a while to go, but I have already started seriously thinking about this. Japan is a great place, but I know it is not the "right" country for me to live in for a long period of time. In fact, I am slowly realizing how happy I was back home. It's funny it took me moving across the world to a different culture to see this, but I am grateful. I mainly came to Japan to "find myself" and I really am starting to see who I am (and it isn't super shocking either). And who I am involves The States, I think. If I stay an extra six months that will give me more time, and a bit more money to see things, and by things I mean travel. How many things realistically, I do not know. I know I will be spending about 80% of that six months at the office. So would it be worth it? I am not sure. I am mainly having a difficulty in deciding this right now because I am getting quite homesick, and I know an extra six months isn't that much longer but I don't know, being away makes it sound like eternity. I miss all of you so much! My life really isn't the same without you (well "you" know who you are anyway) =). I also *think I might have discovered what to do with my life as well. So, in that respect, I am kind of eager to get that going...yeah I really don't know what to do. I was having a roughish week and so ready to go home in April, but once again my "you can do it!" attitude has surfaced and at this very moment writing this, I think I could handle the extra time here? So I decided to keep an ongoing pro/con list until October. Any positive thing about staying will be recorded as well as any negative thing, and hopefully by my "decision time" I will have a more clear view of what I should do. Well, I think it is a better plan than just making a decision based on my current mood of the week anyway. =) The list is open to suggestions, so if you think there should be anything on either the pro or con side, let me know. Of course a lot can change in two months. Maybe I will get engaged to a Japanese man! No but seriously, I think the final product of the list will make it a bit clear where my heart is and what the smart choice would be. I really appreciate all of your support though, especially during my homesick "episodes" (once again you know who you are).

On a more upbeat note, about 11 days until Okinawa!!! YYYYEAH.

*Disclaimer-what I will do with my life is subject to change any moment, so don't hold me to anything I say =)

Conspiracy Theory

You all seem so interested in my old man student, so I thought I would share his most remarkable moment yet.

He is obsessed with this NY Times editor he met a while ago on a plane. He told me in our 1st lesson that she hasn't been emailing him back for the past year even though he emails her all the time. Today he brought in her last email-sent June 2007- and had a rough draft of another email he wanted to send her. That was when I thought, oh great I am helping him stalk this poor woman. Anyway I corrected his random email that mentioned random things like what kinds of vegetables he is growing in his garden. Then, he told me he was pretty sure why she hasn't responded in so long. Apparently during the last US election, when Bush won, he sat in his house in Japan and cried out "I HATE BUSH!" He has now realized that the FBI or CIA must have been eavesdropping on him, and therefore intersected his emails with this NY Times editor, ESPECIALLY since the NY Times is known to be a more liberal paper. That has to be the reason, right? He was totally being serious. Then he spit up all over his shirt. Kind of like a baby.

I spent the rest of the lesson trying to keep a straight face while imagining blogging about this, and staring at the huge spit stain on his shirt in disdain.

I am not sure if he will be able to top this.

Vampires

The sun is feared here. Granted, the sun is much stronger here in Jland, BUT I think the fear is a little extreme. Not only do most people wander around with parasols, but they even wear things like these:


Why can't you just wear sunscreen and limit your sun exposure? My new favorite source of amusement at work is telling my students I am going to Okinawa for Obon and I am going to lay out in the sun and get a tan, and then watching their horrified faces. They either look like they don't believe I could ever mean anything that crazy, or like I said I was going to pour acid all over my body and love it. =)

The most important equations

100 yen + 1 vending machine coffee= ~43.2 minutes of energy in class.
100 yen x 7= 700 yen.

Almost enough to make it through the lesson without feeling the urge to collapse on the ground.

My own fault for staying out all night though =) Damn you Japan for never closing....and for your trains to stop running at midnight basically FORCING me to stay out all night. =) (I'm not really complaining)

Oh but I am super super homesick this week. Make no doubt about that. Thank goodness for things like Spaghettios and tortillas.

Irrational fears I have

since I have come to Japan thus far:

1. Doors closing on me and chopping me in half. Train doors, subway doors, but most importantly: elevator doors. Regarding the train and subway, there is at least someone actually watching for people who is responsible for closing the doors, so the chances of this happening to me are slightly less. However, elevators here are way different than in the states. Besides being obnoxiously slow (don't let that "technologically advanced Japan" misconception fool you! Well...and they are also slow because people are ridiculously over-considerate and will hold the doors open -with the button- for a person running towards the elevator 15 miles away), the doors don't have sensors like elevators in the states. It is common knowledge back home that you can stand on the elevator threshold, or hold your hand against the door to keep it open. Well folks, don't EVER try that here! Elevators here don't have sensors, meaning the doors will close on you (and possibly chop you in half-why this post is titled "irrational fears"). This is a picture on the inside of the elevators in my building:
It might be a bit difficult to see what exactly is going on in it. It actually took me a few weeks of riding the elevators every day to actually figure out its true warning purpose. So in front of the closed elevator doors, you have a woman and a little girl. The woman is holding a leash, and the little girl is holding a jump rope. Above them is a picture of the inside of the elevator. There is a dog and the end of the jump rope. I suppose the purpose of this picture is to warn: don't toss part of your jump rope, or your dog inside the elevator thinking it will keep the doors open for you while you rush to make it inside rather than waiting another 10 minutes for the next elevator...because it won't...and I think we know what happens if your dog is attached to a leash in a closed elevator moving up/down and you are holding onto the other end not inside the elevator (well at least we do now thanks to this helpful picture). =/

Both of these situations are very likely.
Actually, forget my sarcastic comment above, knowing Japan, both of these situations probably DID happen and that is why they made a picture warning against them.

2. What if I forget how to drive??? Is driving a car like riding a bike?

Terrifying moment of the week

I had my really old man private lesson today. He was in the middle of a sentence, and then all of a sudden put his head down, closed his eyes, and looked like he wasn't breathing. I sat across from him for about 15 seconds with wide eyes, panicking and thinking he was dying and that I would have to give him CPR (the terrifying moment). But then he raised his head and continued on like it never happened. He also printed an opinion article from the NY Times about finding "the perfect man" and he highly recommended it to me. At least he is a member of Team Lindsay.

Amusement

I had a very amusing lesson today. Here I was, annoyed they threw a random private lesson into the middle of my empty day (I know, it's tough haha), but it wound up being the highlight of my day. I was completely exhausted from staying up way too late last night so I had a bunch of coffee right before AND a Japanese energy drink (intense) so when she arrived I was on crack. I've taught her before, she's cool but her vocab sucks. I was dreading the lesson because it was teaching about how to talk about what's physically wrong with you. See example:
A) What's wrong?
B) My knee hurts!

I have taught it before. The reason I was dreading it is because Japanese people are already huge hypochondriacs, so I don't like the idea of encouraging them by teaching them how to be hypochondriacs in English haha. Anyway...so back to my student and her poor vocabulary. I had little posters all over the white board with different body parts to practice complaining about and I thought I would go over them with her to make sure she knew the vocabulary. So entertaining. I would call out a body part and she would point to it on her body. She knew the basics, but thought knees were elbows, and the best is when I said "toes" and she opened her mouth, stuck her tongue out, and pointed to it. That was when I almost burst out laughing/decided to teach her "Head, shoulders, knees, and toes." So we spent a few minutes singing it with the hand motions like we were in preschool. I am pretty sure she is older than me. Random story but very entertaining. 2 days until payday. The end.

$$$$

I finally went shopping today. To be honest, this was my first time actually buying anything since I got here (April!!). Yeah, that's really really weird coming from a shopoholic. But, it's been difficult shopping because a) it's hard for me to shop at name brand stores here because the prices are 3x as much as they are in the states (even like The Gap) so I have just now been able to accept that Japan is unfair and expensive and you just have to deal, b) A lot of Japanese fashion is super cute...but is SO "Japanese" that I think I would feel ridiculous wearing it. Like a poser or something, and c) There is just too much stuff. I know that sounds like an odd complaint, but you really have no idea how packed these stores/malls are. On one floor of a popular mall there are probably 13 stores all on top of eachother full of stuff and full of people. It's actually really overwhelming, especially if you are just "browsing." I was actually starting to believe maybe I was a changed woman who didn't need material possessions to make myself happy. Well, I just woke up a monster. I am already fantasizing about what I am going to buy when I get paid on Friday...dun dun dun.

One thing I really love about Japan, and this probably goes for big cities in general, is no matter how many times I go to the same places, I am always entertained. There are so many weird people walking around, haha! I wasn't able to take many pictures because that's, well, rude, but I saw lots of people dressed like anime characters (and also discovered an ENTIRE FLOOR of a big mall devoted to dressing like them), and I also saw a man walking around with a stroller....that had three cats sleeping in it! Wtf! Haha.

Still no typhoon

BUT it is unbelievably humid. This is especially bad, since I have lately been used to the humidity, so that means it must be 10x as bad as it usually is. In order to explain what I mean, let me paint you a mental picture--have you ever turned on your shower, closed the bathroom door, and let it run for a while before going back into the bathroom? You know how it's really steamy and hot? That is EXACTLY how it feels every time I open the front door from my air conditioned apartment to go outside. Every time.

Is it bad I am almost a little disappointed there is no typhoon??? I was curious to see what one was all about...

Typhoon season

A typhoon is coming either tomorrow or Sunday apparently. That means it is once again extremely extremely humid and rainy. I don't know why I even bother getting ready in the morning as by the time I get to work I look like I just rolled out of bed with last night's make up on. Then I have to run down to a drug store in the basement and pretend to shop while I use their makeup (Japanese mascara and eyeliner is the BEST FYI-coming from a true makeup junkie).

Speaking of shopping in drug stores, I would like to take this moment to discuss my HATRED for pantyhose. I didn't think it was possible to despise an article of clothing so much. Not only do they make it even more miserable in hot, humid weather, but they are awkward and uncomfortable at times. But the WORST part is that I have to replace them about every three days. I have tried both 100 yen nylons (waste of time/money as they rip before they are even on my legs) and expensive nylons which are still in shreds by the 3rd or 4th day..if I'm even lucky to make it that far. I have one pair left and above my knees they look like a wild wolf attacked me they are so messed up, yet I am SICK of buying new ones so it is my goal to make them last as long as possible. I swear that half my paycheck funds these evil things (the other half goes to the coffee in the vending machines down the hall from work). I wear nylons because I HAVE to. It's part of my strict dress code. But what I don't understand is why people CHOOSE to wear them (especially in weather like this)! I have students and also see strangers on the street wearing nylons under shorts. WHY would you choose to torture yourself like that??? It doesn't even look good (and might I add it is still obvious if you haven't shaved your legs-so that excuse doesn't apply). In this season, all I want to be wearing is...a bathing suit. Maybe a sundress. That's it, tops. Unfortunately, I am condemned to spending 96% of my summer in wool-based suits and nylons. Thank goodness for air conditioning and underground walkways that are temperature controlled.

Gerunds? Past Progressive? Huh?

Sometimes I think I am learning more English than Japanese here. Confused? Well, let's think about this. In the USA, we grow up learning English, yet we are never really taught very specific grammar rules/the origins of the grammar/the proper name for the grammar point/why we use that grammar unless we take specific grammar based courses in maybe college, which I never did. Obviously I am a native speaker (duh), but being a native speaker only allows me to properly use grammar, not automatically understand why. This isn't really a problem in my lower level-middleish (improper use right there) level classes I teach just because the grammar points are kind of straight forward. However, this poses a problem every now and then in my upper level classes, where the grammar points become very very picky. In fact, half the time I look at the lesson point title in the textbook (see title of my blog for examples) and go "what the heck is ...?" Then, I read the explanation and go "ohhhh...ok." However, reading the explanation and connecting the dots doesn't necessarily make it easier to teach. ESPECIALLY in my advanced classes. Here is something you must understand about Japanese students- they don't really ask questions until they become advanced. I don't know if it's because they don't know how to ask, or are nervous or afraid of me or what, but a lot of times I have to force questions out of my lower level students because I KNOW they don't get it even though they are pretending they completely understand. However, the opposite goes for advanced students. They are not afraid to ask questions, that's for sure. And that is great and all, except sometimes they scare the crap out of me. It is bad enough when I have just spent the last thirty minutes to an hour learning THEIR lesson, and try to teach it the best I can with as much knowledge on the subject as possible...to then give a big fake/cheery (secretly paranoid/afraid) smile after finishing my confusing explanation, look at their (what I deem judgmental just because sometimes I think they have studied proper English more than me although I think I am just paranoid) faces and ask my most dreaded question, "Are there any questions?" And then have all hands shoot up, while I have the urge to cover my face and run away. What is scary about being asked questions by advanced students is they seem to choose questions about situations with the grammar point that basically have a .0000000001% chance of ever happening, and therefore completely catch you unprepared and off guard. Yet, because I am after all their teacher they pay thousands of dollars for in order to gain my English wisdom, I have to explain anyway as though I have spent two years of my life studying that very exact question. Half the time I have to repeat the question/phrase under my breath a dozen times to figure out how it would even be used let alone where/when. It also doesn't help that the textbooks are written by Japanese people (yes, that is correct, Japanese people write the English textbooks in English) and are not always correct, so I have to sit down with my coworkers (normally because this grammar is so specific and nit picky I am usually not the one to notice it is incorrect might I add) and figure out the correct way to explain it, which then causes an extra pile of questions since the students studied the incorrect lesson and are confused. It is an achievement if I get out of one of those classes with less than ten questions. Anyway, my whole point to sharing my ignorance of advanced English grammar with you is that every week I walk out of work with a stronger English education. I expect to be quite the expert when I return to the US in nit picky grammar as well as the grammar points proper titles (past continuous, gerunds, blah blah blah).

Yamakasa Festival

The Yamakasa festival was this morning at 5 am. I already kind of explained it in a previous post, but was a little mistaken. The shrines/floats the men (who wear only loin cloths and teenage mutant ninja turtle boots might I add) carry around town are not as big as the decorative ones (with the exception of the last float which you can see in the video), yet they still weigh around 1 ton and are carried (run) all over the city. I met my friends at around midnight downtown to drink before the festival. We found a good izakaya that had nomihodai (all you can drink) for only 1,500 yen for 90 minutes, so it was a good idea. Oh yeah, I also ate basashi there (raw horse). No, it did not come off a live horse. It wasn't bad, but didn't taste super special either. Kind of like...rare meat =). Anywayy, one of our students gave us special tickets for the festival so we could be in the starting point area. Apparently these tickets are really hard to get, and they were really great seats...er...well a great view we actually didn't get seats because it was so crowded, but it was OK. There were soooooooooooooooo many people. There were eight shrines. In the starting point (the most exciting part of the festival), the shrines have to be run across the arena and are timed for who did it in the best time. Every team has it's own starting time. My neighborhood got the best time =) (I think around 20 seconds). Then, the shrines continue down a "race path" across the city where people stand on the sidelines cheering the whole way like a huge parade. It was a really cool experience to see how important this festival is, and how it has been a tradition for hundreds of years. My favorite pictures of the night. Look at their faces!





The 2nd or 3rd float



The last float--and the biggest! I personally think there should have been fire coming out of it though, haha. I apologize for the weird camera angle, I don't know how to edit videos and flip it.

Hooray for American Junk Food

Just received packages 2/3 today. Thanks Mom and Dad! =)

See?

Told you, I'm FAMOUS. Ha.

Now onto more important and interesting things...

The Hakata Gion Yamakasa is next Tuesday morning. It's one of the most famous festivals in the entire country. It starts at 4:59 am (yes, am), and men participate by wearing loin cloths and carrying these specially built shrine/float things around Fukuoka on a predetermined "race track." There are 7 districts in Fukuoka, so there is a shrine for each of them, and the participants compete. It isn't a matter of who gets to the finishing area first, but who works the best as a team. These shrines weigh ONE TON. I am still trying to figure out how they do it. Everyone else stands on the sidelines cheering them on and dumping water on them to cool them down. The first picture is MY district's shrine, which I think is the coolest because of the tiger. They are super detailed. The second picture is a different shrine, but it's just to give you an idea how tall these things are...

Happy 4th of July

From right now until maybe Saturday night will be an "I hate Japan and wish I lived in America" day.

Famous.

(not really)

My friend who doesn't work for my company texted me today saying "Are you aware your picture is in an advertisement?" A while back my work asked me to "model" for advertising. They took pictures of me at least four times. Twice-it was professional and I was prepared (aka I made sure I did my hair that morning and wore a cute outfit) the other two times, I was not prepared (aka I looked like crap). There is an advertisement in the 3rd elevator in our building, so I went outside to check and see if they had changed it. After waiting for the other two to come up, the third elevator finally did. Sure enough, a huge blown up picture of me fake teaching is the new advertisement for the region. And of course they selected the picture from the "unprepared" pictures. Of course. Oh well, what can you do? I'm FAMOUSSSSSSSS. Hahaha. Since I have a big ego I will probably take a picture of it at some pt and post it (a picture of a picture of myself-now that is an ego). ;) OK, all joking aside, I'm actually almost a little embarrassed to have my face all over Kyushu (like the entire bottom region of Japan) in elevators and train stations and so forth...

My review went well. I rock as a teacher (see ego). No, but seriously, it went fine. I love my last two classes and there is a lot of good energy so it wasn't very difficult. Just some very minor things went wrong that of course never happen when no one is watching me. Nothing to fret about. Can't wait until Monday is over and I am hopefully DONE with this "you're new" biz.

Survival English Update

When planning a lesson for this week using possibility (if + will, etc) for a more advanced level class, my coworker decided to test them, because we are still hung up on the fact so many people thought you should drink water if you swallow poison. We tend to make flash cards with prompts on them for the students to then talk about their real ideas using the grammar point for the end of class. My coworker snuck in "swallow poison" for one of them. The verdict is in. Every student but two of my favorites said "drink water?" And I continue to save lives...

A really old man student recently requested that I now be his private lesson teacher, instead of my male coworker (hmm). We had our first lesson today. He amused me by researching me. At the beginning of the lesson he whipped out a thick pile of articles/stuff from the internet (my first thought-"well I guess there was no point in prepping a lesson for today"). He was told I was a criminology major, so he printed pages off the internet about it, and also about California, as well as articles about that Lindsay Nova teacher girl who was murdered in Japan (since we have a lot in common having the same name and all), and proceeded to lecture me about being safe and not meeting students alone. Yet, he then invited me to meet him at an izakaya sometime just the two of us. Ha. I have a feeling these lessons will be interesting. He is very hard of hearing so I have to basically yell when speaking to him, even though he is sitting about 2 feet away from me.

I am now only being reviewed for three lessons instead of five. I am so disappointed?

My water was shut off this morning to my surprise. Actually, I remembered seeing a notice under my door a few weeks ago but I ignored it since I couldn't read it, so it was probably informing me the water would be shut off for what I'm assuming maintenance reasons (it's back on now). I had a great time washing my face with bottled water. Speaking of my water here-- it is making me lose all my hair. I never used to shed much, and now my hair is EVERYWHERE. I'm starting to worry about going bald, as I don't have a ton of hair to begin with. However, my nails which are normally thin and brittle are now strong and grow long without breaking. So I guess this extreme mineral induced water is both a gift and a curse.

It's so hot and humid here, I have already melted 3 times today.

Mistranslation of the Week

(Well I HOPE it's a mistranslation at least)

If you can't read it because of the ugly seizure enducing color scheme, it says "I'm Nota Smug Twat All The Love." I would LOVE to see someone actually walking around with this on...in fact I dare one of you to! I'll send it over free of charge =)

Other sidenotes- I am being reviewed on Thursday, which also happens to be one of my busiest days of the week, and I have follow up training on Monday meaning I only get one day off-- so hooray for that! I just want all this "you're new" crap to be over, as I don't feel very new and inexperienced anymore. Hmm, what else? I have my whole trip (well plane and rooming) booked and good to go for Okinawa. It's "bargain" season here, which means all the clothing stores are discounted and of course I am broke-what a surprise! I've discovered the joys of tuna, mayo, and rice mixed together. Sounds absolutely disgusting, but it is scrumptious (and cheap--see broke). I'm currently watching too much Grey's Anatomy which is causing an imbalance in my estrogen level and making me feel very very sappy lol.

Besides that, it's just the same old same old. See? It can be boring over in Japan too!

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I will be spending the day America got it's independence working (both days with the time zone factored in).