My head is too foggy.

There has been WAY TOO MUCH crap going on in the past week, and now my brain is on overdrive. This week is so stressful. 1. I have some things that I don't feel like sharing on a public blog that are nagging me/making it hard to focus on the "more important" issues at hand in my life. 2. I am sick and literally feel like I have no energy, yet have no time to be sick right now. 3. I have to decide whether or not to extend by THURSDAY. 4. I am having a lesson observed that I had a complaint in--so stressful. 5. I have to teach this random extra lesson and be observed by our head office for "experimental" purposes on my busiest day this week-nothing really to do with me, I was just lucky to be chosen as the guinea pig teacher (sense the sarcasm?). 6. We are back onto sales, and I just feel the pressure on my back and it stresses me out!! 7. 2 of my close friends are leaving this week, and one is threatening (if you are reading this, you cannot leave) to leave after Christmas, and it is just disheartening to know I might find myself alone in the near future and I don't know if I can deal like that. I am sure I probably will make new friends, but I don't know, at the moment it is disheartening for me. It is really too much right now, and I just feel so lost and exhausted, and find myself wanting to break down and cry all the time lately.

I honestly have no idea what to do about extending. Part of me is so frustrated with work and issues with Japan in general, I just don't know if I can last another 6 months here. Unfortunately with all these factors dancing around in my head it is too difficult to tell whether this is just a bad time and will get better, or if it is just going to keep going downhill. But on the other hand, I am not even sure what I would exactly be going home to in April? Everyone is doing their own thing. I have come to realize, as hard as it is to accept, that nothing will ever be the same as it was in university. I know when I go home, it will not be how it was. I mean, as much as I miss and long for home, I also remember how utterly bored I was living at home waiting to come here (sorry parents). So sometimes I wonder, what is the point then? I really want to stay so I can travel, but I just don't know if I can survive here for that much longer! I know 6 months doesn't seem like so long, but when a day can feel like eternity here, it really seems overbearing. But then again, there is the economy issues, and I have bills to pay and don't feel like struggling to find a crappy job and figure out how to pay them. Also, I don't want to quit on myself and give up on an opportunity that maybe at this moment seems like crap, but I will appreciate a lot later, just because I am feeling this weak at the moment??? I just really feel so lost here, and have been putting this off denial-status. But now, I need to make a decision, and I just don't know what the right decision is! Japan can be so much fun, yet so painful at the same time. Sigh. Someone just check the box on the contract for me, please.