Thursday, July 31, 2008

Back and forth and back again.

My brain is having a serious identity crisis. What I mean by that, is in 2 months (and that will mean I will have been in Japan for SIX MONTHS) I will need to decide whether or not to renew my contract for an extra 6 months or not (that is if they ask me to renew haha). I know 2 months away seems like a while to go, but I have already started seriously thinking about this. Japan is a great place, but I know it is not the "right" country for me to live in for a long period of time. In fact, I am slowly realizing how happy I was back home. It's funny it took me moving across the world to a different culture to see this, but I am grateful. I mainly came to Japan to "find myself" and I really am starting to see who I am (and it isn't super shocking either). And who I am involves The States, I think. If I stay an extra six months that will give me more time, and a bit more money to see things, and by things I mean travel. How many things realistically, I do not know. I know I will be spending about 80% of that six months at the office. So would it be worth it? I am not sure. I am mainly having a difficulty in deciding this right now because I am getting quite homesick, and I know an extra six months isn't that much longer but I don't know, being away makes it sound like eternity. I miss all of you so much! My life really isn't the same without you (well "you" know who you are anyway) =). I also *think I might have discovered what to do with my life as well. So, in that respect, I am kind of eager to get that going...yeah I really don't know what to do. I was having a roughish week and so ready to go home in April, but once again my "you can do it!" attitude has surfaced and at this very moment writing this, I think I could handle the extra time here? So I decided to keep an ongoing pro/con list until October. Any positive thing about staying will be recorded as well as any negative thing, and hopefully by my "decision time" I will have a more clear view of what I should do. Well, I think it is a better plan than just making a decision based on my current mood of the week anyway. =) The list is open to suggestions, so if you think there should be anything on either the pro or con side, let me know. Of course a lot can change in two months. Maybe I will get engaged to a Japanese man! No but seriously, I think the final product of the list will make it a bit clear where my heart is and what the smart choice would be. I really appreciate all of your support though, especially during my homesick "episodes" (once again you know who you are).

On a more upbeat note, about 11 days until Okinawa!!! YYYYEAH.

*Disclaimer-what I will do with my life is subject to change any moment, so don't hold me to anything I say =)

1 comment:

Maryanne said...

This is easy--10 ten reasons NOT to extend (pros & cons of course, just to be fair):

Pro:
1. Your family misses you;
2. Your friends miss you;
3. Ninja doesn't remember you;
4. You will have missed every major holiday, and then some!
5. You miss American food;
6. You miss Mexican food, especially quacamole!
7. Driving a own car is a distant memory...remember how much fun it was when you could hop in your own car and go wherever you wanted?
8. You miss (I'm presuming) random conversations with strangers in English, without having to care so much if you're offending, etc....
9. 1 year is long enough to be away;
10. You're beginning to question why you did this in the first place. Plus, you can come home after your contract, work and save AND still travel.

Con: ?????

Need I say more? Love, Mom